Won’t You Make Me Stay?

 

Undeserving of this crown, I am,

Now verily breaking down, I am.

Unable to tackle this anymore, as I,

Struggle to unshackle my core.

“Hold on”, everybody told me,

“I’ll be there for you”, they said.

Though, nobody ever held me,

Always gave up on me, they did.

Help me, isn’t there anyone to?

Pull me out of mess, would you?

Purging the sadness, as I,

Break down and cry.

Bidding farewell to everyone, as I,

Still can’t bid adieu to my demons.

Running away from ’em, as I,

Wish for someone to hold me.

Wish for someone to love me, ‘n

Wish for someone to save me.

“Won’t you hold onto me?”, I say,

As my life shatters like glass.

And, as my heart breaks into pieces, I say,

“Won’t you make me stay?”

 


 

 

“We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Satan.”

 


 

 

~ sorry…

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İlk Cinayet

The room’s dark ‘n empty, and,

I stand in the corner, as I,

Stare at the being, in the chair,

Sitting under the dim light.

Trussed to the chair ‘ n constrained,

Gagged ‘n muzzled, as he,

Sees my silhouette, in the corner,

While I stand, watching in silence.

Approaching him slowly, as I,

Extract a knife. Caressing the blade,

As I, stare at him with an evil grin.

His head hangs low, as he,

Stares into the abyss under his feet.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, as I,

In his chest, wedge the knife.

He screams in pain ‘n agony, whilst,

I feel contented and beatific.

Watching the blood, gushing out,

His mouth, the hole in his chest,

Warms my heart, gives me pleasure.

Whilst his eyes, tear up. His heart,

Sinks to the lowest. His mind,

Regrets. Regrets for letting me out,

For letting me take over, over this body,

Over this mind. Control ‘n command,

Finally mine. Dominating the mind now, as I,

Chuckle over his fate, his resolution.

Kneeling down before him, as I,

Withdraw the blade, lifting his face up.

His eyes filled with fear ‘n horror, and,

His face stricken with terror and distress.

Begging forgiveness, as he stares,

Glancing down my soul, crying ‘n imploring.

His heart regrets, regrets for letting,

Letting me out, out and free.

Grabbing his face, as I, staring,

Into his eyes, smirking a little, before I,

Carve a smile on his face, across his cheeks.

A smile for all those fake smiles,

A smile for all those forced smiles.

Blood drips from his chin, as he,

Wails in torture, suffering in discomfort.

Grinning as I say, “You liked smiling, eh?”

Looking at me, he struggles,

Struggles to counter.

“Now you’ll smile forever”, saying as I,

Push the blade into his oesophagus.

Choking onto his breath, blood dripping,

Down his face ‘n throat, as he,

Vies to survive, to hold on, to live.

His eyes stay wide open, as he,

Takes his last breath, ‘n his soul,

Vanishing into oblivion, for ever.

Whilst his face, smiling, forever and ever, ’till

Flesh rots and decays into dust, disappearing.

And, broken out of my dreams, I have,

Stepped out of my subconscious,

My dreams, the virtuality, the fantasy.

I’m no hallucination, any more. I am,

Wholly reality, iron truth, and,

Alive and breathing, whilst,

He has vanished into the abyss.

This is my ‘İlk’, my foremost,

More to come, more ‘cinayet’.

Amende Honorable – Vale

Standin’ on the edge of the balcony,

I stare out into the cold ‘n dead darkness.

Cold wind blows through the lifeless street,

Bidding farewell with sadness, the Moon

Extends towards the horizon, dipping away.

Clock’s ticking ‘n ticking, way past 3,

Looking down into the endless void, I,

Nod along as the voice speaks to me.

“Go ahead”, the Devil says, as he,

Grins at me, cursing my soul ‘n life.

Cold, sadistic, deceiving ‘n masochistic,

For I, the son of Devil himself,

Egress ‘n regress to me old self.

“I implore mercy, oh thee Satan”,

Disappearing, as I, from humanity,

Exanimate and lacklustre, it is.

Falling into the void, as I,

Scribble my own life’s ‘Script’.

Nothing is real, apprehending as I,

Feel sorry for all my sins, and,

Remorsing for bein’ evil ‘n immoral.

“Apologies for breaking your heart, baby.

Apologies for lying to you, baby.

Apologies for leaving you, baby.

Apologies for being heartless, baby.

Apologies for being… me, baby.”

Saying, as I, realize I am just different.

Closing my eyes, as I desiderate,

Her warmth, her love, her arms.

Wanting to hold onto her, as I,

Finally let go off the good.

Perceiving that everything fades, as I,

Drop onto the floor, as life escapes,

Out of me, as I pass into oblivion.

For I, gone like the winter wind, ‘n,

Forever ceasing to exist.

Transitioning into my limbo, as I,

Bid adieu to you, my life, and humanity.


“Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” – John 8:44


This one is for you, Panda.

A Formidable Fantasy

I wake up in a dark room,
Surrounded by black walls, and a mirror
Stands in the center of the room, with
A bulb on top, very dim lighted.
Getting up as I move towards the mirror,
I see my reflection, smiling widely.
Stretching my hand, as I touch the mirror.
Being swallowed by the mirror, my fingers,
Turning to escape, I, get interrupted,
Turning back, I see, a mouth-less creature.
Staring at it, I realize, it is waving at me.
My spine goes cold as I turn scared and frightened.
The creature walks near the mirror, as it,
Withdraws a knife from it’s pocket,
Staring at it, I wonder, it wishes to do.
The creature places the knife amid it’s head,
Staring at me, it pushes the knife inside,
The knife, piercing it’s forehead, gushes out blood.
Noticing the blood, I wince in pain, as I
Bleed from my forehead. Blood gushes and spurts,
Erupting heavily as I whimper of pain.
The creature, pulling out another shank,
Positions the knife, front o’ it’s neck.
I shriek out, I adjure it to stop,
Looking at me, shaking its head,
Slowly, it, thrusts the knife into it’s throat.
I whimper, tears rush out my eyes,
It thrusts the knife furthermore,
I scream loudly, my eyes open as I,
Spot self on bed, panting heavily,
Afraid and glad, to not be dead.

Snowfall

Empty room, no lights,

Sitting by the windowsill, as I

Watch nature’s most beautiful creation fall, slowly

As it descends towards the cold surface, I

Extend outwards to seize it, as it,

Falls on my stretched palm and slips the next moment,

Smiling widely, I watch it fall out of my palm,

Twinkling and glittering, as it soothes my heart,

A weird feeling, it incites into me,

A smile forming up from the end of my lips,

I blink as I continue to watch it tumble down,

So elegant, so beautiful, so natural,

A snowflake, it is, just a mere flake

Yet it makes my heart jolly-up like never before,

It is as if, it desires to speak to me,

It desires to hold my hand n’ never let go,

It desires to hold me in it’s arms,

It desires to kiss my skin,

Yet I watch it slip out of my palm,

As soon as it lands and I begin to clench.

Such a beautiful thing it is, to watch

Something so elegant appear out of simplicity.

A voice inside me speaks, it speaks,

It wants me to absorb myself into this,

This, perfect imperfection of nature.

Standing on the windowsill, as I, step forward,

Turning around and plummeting into beauty,

Immense beauty, so adorably amazing,

Magnificent, pleasing and alluring,

Closing my eyes, as I absorb the beauty of it,

As a voice speaks softly, I hear,

Don’t worry and smile, it says,

Into my dark vision, a face appears,

A beautiful face, with ravishing eyes,

And gorgeous lips, it says,

I will love you like no one else,

It says, I will hold you – forever.

I welcome, I welcome this unknown voice,

This unknown face, I welcome it,

Opening my heart, as I, let it reach,

To the depth of my blackened heart,

A touch, I feel, on my heart,

It sparks light, colors, beauty,

A ray of color, among the darkness,

I wonder, another mirage or reality.

Opening my eyes, I see, this face,

This graceful face, as it, holds that o’ mine,

Smiles charmingly, as it, a feeling,

Happiness creeps up to my face, as I, smile back.

 

 


 

This poem is solely dedicated to a friend of mine. 🙂 Feedbacks are welcome. And, thank you for reading.

Inanimate Mortal

Now I’m back in my Fatherland,

With the Crown on my head

And Fiends all ’round me

Yet it doesn’t feel so much as a home.

A fading shadow, calling out

Slight trembling inside my heart

Reach out, as I

Pulls me in, it, as if

Planning to save me, yet

Ends up terminating, o’

The last breath of mine, it.

Fall, I, into the abyss

This darkness, the void, the brink of life

It’s soothing, it’s relaxing

I accept, I accept

As I fall deeper and deeper

Reaching closer to the end,

But darkness, it has no end.

Yet this feels like, it

Has an end, to itself

Is it darkness in its purest form, o’

It is figment of imagination, of mine.

To know life, is to know death.

To know light, is to know darkness.

This abyss, a voice, it talks

To me, o’ it talks, it does.

Close my eyes, I,

Respire, as my heart pounds heavily.

Stretch my arm out, as I,

Hold onto darkness, my dear friend.


I hope you all liked it. 🙂 Feedbacks are welcome. Much love.

The Homecoming

“As the darkness takes over me,

I drown into oblivion.

Completely stupefied of my existence,

I question the mysterious reality.”

 

 

 
A mischievous mirror stares at me,

As I lean in to hunt my own reflection.

All my eyes perceive is a faceless beast,

Immortal yet so mortal, in his heart.

Speaks to me, he, as I follow him.

Into the world of evil, he takes me,

Guiding my path, writing my destiny,

Welcoming me to his humble abode.

A place with no shadows, only darkness,

With no happiness, only grief,

With no love, only hatred,

With no life, only death.

Claiming the throne, as I,

Stumble onto dead souls,

Crawling past the heartless beasts

Calling upon Satan, I, proclaim my homecoming.

 

 

 

 

I hope you all like it. Thank you. 🙂